Fucking HOT!! Skipping school today. Didn't want to-- didn't intend to, rather. Slept in a tent a couple of nights at this guy named Julian's backyard. Interesting place to sleep. Hopefully, Matt got a job that pays under the table and a place to live for $50/month. I'm so praying that he keeps this job for a good long time. We need the money, 1; it'll boost his self-esteem (maybe), 2, I can't work because I'm in school full-time, 3... but most of all, refer to number 1. Because I have no job now, I'm flat broke. I have $16 (or less) to my name. It all went to supporting Matt and I. I should have saved like the penny-pincher I was raised to be. I wanted to, but things just kept popping up. Damn it, I'm broke. I need a damn job. But I need a damn education so I can get a decent job that pays well. Now I can't afford to take care of myself and I have to rely on my parents again. I really hate that. I hate having to rely on people for money. I should be earning my own money-- my own keep. *sigh* I'm going to go pass out now. Much love, all.

I think I'm cracking. I don't think I can handle the pressure of running a house. I'm too emotional right now. I want everything to go perfectly so Mommy doesn't have to come home and be like, "You didn't do shit. I can't rely on you." So far today, I've cried twice. Once when Matt asked to borrow my last ten dollars and once when the dog wouldn't take her medicine. Mom's just going to say that it's part of being an adult so I might as well just adjust. But this is interrupting my continuity. Normally, I go out with the boys and see Matt all day. I crack when something interrupts my continuity. Dude, being bipolar and PMS'ing at the same time SUCKS. My mood shifts every ten minutes. I want my mommy, damnit. I'm a grown woman and yet, I want my mommy. >_<

Janet Jackson has a dirty mind.

...I love it.

So, Mom's out of town and I'm in charge of the house. Not so fun. Taking care of my obstinate (but lovable) father and all the damn animals is certainly a challenge. I wonder how Ma does it. I have to cook dinner soon. I found a ruby cross in my drawer and decided that I'm going to wear it from now on. It's really pretty. I don't know what this means as far as my religious beliefs go, but my mommy gave it to me and, like I said, it's really pretty.

So, my life is back to normal... i.e.: Cory and I aren't talking again. We had a fight. He wanted to move back up here and try to be able to be close to me or something because he's still in love with me. I told him that it was unfair. I told him to move on because I have and he's going to have to deal with that fact. He called me a selfish bitch, I called him an egotistical bastard, lots of words were exchanged. Eventually we both told each other to go fuck off then I put him on block. He said he was going to institutionalize himself and I said that it was a good thing and then maybe after seven of those he'll learn to move on, too. I think that was a little mean. I thought he and I could be friends considering his child and wife without any issues but I guess not. *shakes head* My life is such a soap opera. I swear it'd be a bestseller book. I'd be rich, bee-yatch! Okay. It's almost time for E.R. on television. I bid everyone adieu.

So, I have nothing to do after five hours of sitting in Photography class being lectured to, therefore, I blog. I had a panic attack in class today because there were fingerprints on the lens. It was really embarrassing because the whole class was looking at me as I was freaking out. I think I need new meds or something. I'm also losing weight again. I'm happy about it but my mom isn't. She thinks I've slipped back into not eating. I eat when I'm hungry, dammit. If I'm not hungry, I don't eat. I don't see the reason to waste money on food when I'm not going to eat it.

More of Abby's photography. This is up in Thurmont, MD. The boys worked there building a fence for a few weeks. 

Oh, god, I'm dying. Note to Self: Remember to take breaks when doing heavy lifting. Lift with knees. End note. I think I pulled something in my back today while cleaning out the computer room. It looks totally different, though. After a lotta hours of moving, lifting, rearranging, etc., the computer room has some semblence of order to it. I couldn't stand how it looked... there was no way somebody could walk in here without climbing over something or another. It irritated the hell out of me.

So, today, Val and I went and took Fatty McTubs (aka Julius) out to Rock Creek Park and he started playing with this other dog and they bumped heads and then flew backwards. I was standing a good twelve feet away and I still heard the knock. He didn't want to play anymore after that. So we finished our walk then we were on our way. We stopped at a gas station to get cigarettes and some water for Ju-Ju. We took him to Petsmart, got him some treats, then VJ dropped me home. I got on the computer for a while, missed a call from Danny's phone then got incredibly irritated when my cell kept giving me this "Call not completed, out of range" message. Oh, well. Mom then asked me to clean up-- a decision I had already made. Then Matt called me at around 4, told him I was cleaning and we decided that I'd call him back at 6. Called him at 6, he was at Z7 with Danny. Asked him to call me when he's leaving Wheaton, he did. Met him up at Rockville Station and saw him off so he can go home. And here I am.

Thought I'd update. Matt's getting a blog-- he's setting up right now. So, with his permission, I'll put a link up for your— reading enjoyment— I guess I could say. Okey dokey... gonna take care of a few things then head off to bed. Good night all, may night's shawl keep you warm and whisk you off to the sweetest of dreams.