So it's been a while since I've had a chance to sit and write in my blog. I guess you all want to know what's up... or not, I don't know if anyone really reads this anymore.

Okay, we'll start off light, I suppose. Well, there is no "light" going on with me. So we'll start with "better than it could be." Mathew and I have made amends and we are friends now. I'm coming to realize that I still love him but I know that I can't go back to him, and he knows it too, so we're happy just being friends. Besides, Rocky is my heart. I've decided to let go of all the hatred in my heart and step one was forgiving Mathew.

Speaking of Rocky, things are well between us. I am absolutely certain now that he loves me and that's all I need. I finally worked up the balls to tell him that I loved him. His response? "I know you do, dear." But, whatever, I'm certain of his love and that's all that matters. I see it in his eyes and hear it when he talks to me. I'm trying to get back up there soon. I miss him very dearly. But in September, it will be a little better, I hope.

I plan to move to New York in September, October at the latest. I'll be in the Syracuse area or thereabouts. I need a few things first, like a car and a better-paying job. But I have to wait until May to be a better government job. So that gives me four or five months to save up enough money for a down payment on a car. I want to be closer to Rocky, and also somewhere that I don't know anybody so it'll be easier to focus on school.

That's another thing, I've decided to go back to school and be a psychology major. I had an epiphany after shrooming one night that maybe my life's mission is to make people human again. What better way to go about it besides being a therapist?

Regarding my health, my discs are degenerating, which would be normal were I twice my age, but I'm not. The numbness has spread to the nearly entirety of my left side. It's a pain in the ass... or back, to be more precise. I found really weird lumps in my neck, I dunno what the hell they're from, but I really don't care much. I'm just tired of it all, I guess. I think it's just time to go home...

Having shed my erstwhile alacrity, I am adrift once again in ersatz satisfaction. My weightlessness, my lack of gravity in this existence is all but unnoticed admist the gust of a spring wind that blows winter away for another year. I close my eyes to avoid the dust colliding with them and I dream with tentative reverence. Unity and alliance collide in a graceful pulchritude. There is no crime; there are no weapons— they were melted down and used for shelter for vagabonds and all the money used to make them goes to feeding the hungry and curing the ill.

A sudden zephyr shakes me from my reverie— a warning that time for rest is near its end. As the Axis of my vindicated stability lies austere mediocrity, disquieted in its obstreperous lull. Can I shine despite obduration's tarnish? If I'm reborn now, will they see me from the surface?

Violated in trust, under the Prince of democracy's thumb, overwhelmed with ignorance and denial— where are the quixotic and the brazen? We need a new leader that can pull us out of the chasms we fell into— globally and nationally. We're puppets on a string, the media our puppeteers and they the dummies atop the government's lap with its hand up their asses.

I get raped, he gets 5 years probation and now wants off of it. Now what about my sentence? Living in fear, guilt and shame— a life sentence, no chance of parole. Stand up for what you did and be a man about it! They're going to let him go; I can feel it.

Such is the power of it all— government manipulation— never on the victim's side. America is Pangea's bully. Stand up for what you believe in, but within moderation. Everything within moderation. To be limitless would be to be nearly anarchaic.

Two more years and perhaps it will be done. Two more years until the Boy King's reign is over. Thank you, FDR, for being the cause of the two term limit. Revolt and evolve— or sit on your asses. I don't care anymore... but it's time for a change.

"Nearly all men can withstand adversity; if you want to test a man's character, give him power."

-Abraham Lincoln

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